Finally

November 30, 2010 // by eba

All I do lately is feel. I get emotional at the weirdest things — like when a contestant won the bonus round on Wheel of Fortune. I totally cried. Years of being so fully in control of my feelings are being undone. It’s awesome. Things that may be contributing: — I’m meditating more these days. […]

Up. Up. Up. Also, away.

November 29, 2010 // by eba

I was walking home from work today. It was cold. I had on a jacket and, because I didn’t have a bag or purse with me, I was carrying a number of folders in one arm. (I need to get some reading for work done before I can start my next project.) My head was […]

Unnecessary worries

November 26, 2010 // by eba

I feel great. I expected this trip to stress me out. I imagined scenarios that would break me. I thought I’d be so uncomfortable. But I’m happy. I feel surrounded by love. I met up with two friends from high school, and I had an amazing time. I feel rested. I’ve had great food. I’ve […]

In search of …

November 21, 2010 // by eba

November has been a very trying month. I feel so defeated. I had gotten really good at not letting myself get this way, but this month has made me want to give up. I’m lonely. I’m exhausted. I’m bored with a lot of things in my life. I’m making lots of stupid mistakes at work. […]

How I spent my Saturday night

November 21, 2010 // by eba

At 8 p.m., I added three 43-minute TV shows to my Hulu queue. I watched one show and told myself the others would be a treat if I got an hour or two of cleaning done in the apartment. It’s 3 a.m., and I am just now stopping. For the past six hours, I have […]

Nerves and other barriers

November 18, 2010 // by eba

My Little Sis is 9. She’s in the fourth grade. Tonight, her class had a Thanksgiving concert. I attended. The fourth-graders sang five or six songs about Thanksgiving and turkeys. (The last song involved a reading of a turkey’s will. It was weird, but people laughed.) My Little was in the first row. I think […]

Back to lists

November 17, 2010 // by eba

1. I went to the doctor yesterday. I’ve gained a few more pounds. Maybe it’s all the brownies, pizza, cheese, chips and salsa, lattes, Dr Pepper, etc. (God, that sounded excessive.) I hate when people say “I’m trying to be good” when offered a piece of something delicious. Just say you don’t want it or […]